Tuesday, March 1, 2011

I Love My Husband

First, this was not the blog post I had in my head all day.

But, The Hubby has been so incredibly awesome the past few days, I have to get this out there.

Obviously, I love him. I sure would hope so--I'm trying to have a baby with him. But, sometimes, those husbands just really come out of nowhere and remind you all over again why you fell in love with and married them in the first place.

This last month, I've been looking for REs and finally had some picked and asked The Hubby to check his insurance for REs so we could cross reference. He was dragging his feet. I yelled. He said he'd do it. We both got busy. I didn't want to nag. I was starting to quietly get upset as my period creeped up. CD1 I still had no appointment or even a doctor picked. I sent The Hubby a text. He said he was busy but that he would do it later.

I'll be honest. I didn't believe him. At all.

An hour later, I got back from getting lunch to find an email with the link to the list of REs on his insurance. Then, he called to tell me he had called his insurance company to get the info on what his coverage is. And he said to call and get the appointment and we'd call his GP to get the referral (he's got an HMO, so we have to have a stupid referral).

I was so happy and relieved. I immediately saw that the doctor/clinic I wanted to go to was on his list, so that sealed the deal. I started looking at their website again.

And I got nervous.

The day went on, but I was too busy at work to even think about calling. I work in a cubicle where everyone can hear every phone call. I'm too secretive about the process at this point, but I didn't know what kinds of things would need to be said over the phone and I didn't want them to be heard.

I got home and looked at the website again. They have a "Contact" tab where you put in your contact info. and they call you. I filled it out.

And I had a panic attack.

I'm fairly certain it was the hormones of CD1, but I got freaked by all the advanced stuff on the website. Of course, the advertise all the procedures they do. And here I am "just" wanting initial testing. I got scared that they would laugh in my face and tell me I needed to go back to my OB until I found something wrong. Obviously, this was crazy thinking and the lovely ladies of 3T have calmed me down and let me know that my feelings were quite normal.

Meanwhile, The Hubby starts asking questions. He wants to know about his test and even started looking things up. Besides watching The Great Sperm Race with me, this was the first time he's shown a big interest in the actual process.

That calmed me.

Of course, work was super busy again today and I could not get away to a conference room to make the call, but I will be calling tomorrow when I work from home and can say whatever needs to be said.

And feel whatever needs to be felt. I'm afraid I'm going to cry when I get off the phone. We'll blame hormones.

But, back The Hubby.

Out of the blue tonight, he asks again about getting things schedule. That's right. My husband. Mr. It'll Happen When It Happens is talking me into making the call. He tells me we need to not wait, we're running out of time. "You're going to ovulate soon," he said. "So, we need to get going. Just tell me what I need to do."

That's really all I need to hear. To have him onboard, scared as he is too that something will be wrong with him, is the best thing I could ever hope for.

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