Somewhere, Somebody Is Laughing

I have these flashes of Pregnancy Test Gods, Mother Nature, somebody siting somewhere having a great laugh at my expense.

I've been exercising radio silence on the blog for the past week or so. No, not pregnant (well, maybe; we're getting to that). Honestly, this blog will most likely be the fourth place a pregnancy is "announced," despite the fact that people who know me in my real life read it - frankly, if you've come this far with me, you get to come the whole way, good or bad. Anyway, the radio silence has been more due to my mindset during this 2ww.

First, I was VERY occupied with my luanch show for my new Stella & Dot business (http://stelladot.com/sites/ashleybearden), so I had other things to think about for the first week or so.

The other thing going on has been The Hubby's gentle insistence that I keep a positive attitude. He's been really pushing for a stressfree 2ww and for me to not be so pessimistic this time around.

As we have covered previously, this is not an easy thing for me.

But, for him, I tried.

But, I could not bring myself to write a blog about being positive. Maybe I thought it would jinx me. Maybe I thought it would come across as hypocritical or disingenuous. Whatever the reason, I just couldn't blog.

Now, I sit at 15DPO. That is if FF is to be believed. I O'd on CD12, which is a day earlier than I've ever O'd, but I got solid CHs from the beginning and to look at my chart, it does not seem off at all. So, let's just say I'm 15DPO.

And my period has not started.

My temps don't know what they want to do.

And there are no HPTs in the house.

This is where the laughter is coming in.

My temp dropped some on Tuesday, but still well above coverline. So, I told my friend Bethany that if my temp went back up on Wednesday (14DPO), I would test and if it went down, I would wait until Friday if period was still MIA. Completely logical. Well, my temp went down again on Wednesday (still above coverline), so easy decision: no test. Half expected my period all day. I've been cramping on and off since Monday/Tuesday. Not a trace of spotting.

With nothing happening, except more intense cramping Wednesday night, I decide to see what Thursday's temp does. If up, safe to test. If down, wait out the day for my period.

Wait for it . . . you'll hear the universe laughing at me . . .

My temp. went down by .01. So, basically, it stayed the same as yesterday.

Do you hear it yet?

I decided, at 4:10 am, that I should test anyway just to get it over with. It is 15DPO after all and my average LP is 13 days (though I do go 14 from time to time). I just knew there was one more test in the house.

If you didn't hear it before, you'll hear it now . . .

No tests. No FRER. No Dollar Tree. Nada. Not one single pregnancy test to be found in my house.

Now you hear it, don't you?

Yep, that is somebody, somewhere, knowing that they are playing the ultimate practical joke on my body.

All I can think right now is that I was not meant to test. For whatever reason. Maybe somebody is sparing me. Maybe it will be a joke that I have to wait one more day to find out I'm pregnant.

Back to the original plan for Friday. I'll buy the test after work if nothing else is happing.

Maybe this time I'LL get the last laugh!