My cousin gave birth to a very healthy baby boy last week. I truly am happy for her and her husband and I really can't wait to see the baby, despite all my other feelings about the subject.
I've very easily talked to family about the baby - talking stats, who he looks like, etc. - with ease (and a bottle of wine; don't judge). I was happy my mom forwarded me on the pictures of the baby the day after he was born.
I even dealt with my mother "announcing" his arrival on her Facebook page, complete with picture.
Selfishly, it stung, but I tried to move past it.
But, today, MY mother has posted yet another picture of the baby, who is wearing a little cap with the logo of the family's favorite football team.
Sorry, but it hurt. I know that it shouldn't and that she should be allowed to be excited about this new baby and show him off. Right? She should get to be all those things? How is it any different from me announcing the arrivals of all my nieces and nephews?
But, it makes me feel like shit.
She should be getting to announce her own grandbaby, not her great nephew.
And shouldn't it occur to her that seeing her post these pictures might make her own infertile daughter feel like shit?
This is where the hypersensative comes in.
I know I should not expect people to tiptoe around me. And, really, truly, I don't. But should I expect that out of my own mother? I don't know anymore.
I really just need to get over myself and let it go. Even though she's my mother, I can't expect her to not be excited about the new baby.
But every picture she posts and every little bit of excitement she has kills me.
I've very easily talked to family about the baby - talking stats, who he looks like, etc. - with ease (and a bottle of wine; don't judge). I was happy my mom forwarded me on the pictures of the baby the day after he was born.
I even dealt with my mother "announcing" his arrival on her Facebook page, complete with picture.
Selfishly, it stung, but I tried to move past it.
But, today, MY mother has posted yet another picture of the baby, who is wearing a little cap with the logo of the family's favorite football team.
Sorry, but it hurt. I know that it shouldn't and that she should be allowed to be excited about this new baby and show him off. Right? She should get to be all those things? How is it any different from me announcing the arrivals of all my nieces and nephews?
But, it makes me feel like shit.
She should be getting to announce her own grandbaby, not her great nephew.
And shouldn't it occur to her that seeing her post these pictures might make her own infertile daughter feel like shit?
This is where the hypersensative comes in.
I know I should not expect people to tiptoe around me. And, really, truly, I don't. But should I expect that out of my own mother? I don't know anymore.
I really just need to get over myself and let it go. Even though she's my mother, I can't expect her to not be excited about the new baby.
But every picture she posts and every little bit of excitement she has kills me.
1 comment:
I'm so sorry. ((hugs)) I know that it seems as though you are hypersensitive, but think of all you're going through. You're allowed those feelings for sure. I hope your Mom gets to announce your baby soon!
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