We have a three bedroom home: master and two smaller rooms. When we bought the house, the first spare room was to be a game room for The Hubby to play his video games in, but that didn't happen because we got a 52" TV for the living room and that was clearly the better place for gaming (inser eye roll). So, that room became the workout room - Bowflex, exercise bike, and, eventually, an elliptical. It was great when I was going through my great get in shape phase. In December, we sold the exercise equipment in favor of the gym membership. The goal was again for that to be a gaming room, but we don't have a good enough TV (not another big screen, but better than what is/was in there). So, we hoped to turn it into an office.
The second spare bedroom became the guest bedroom. Except people never spend the night at our house. I think people have slept in that bed once, maybe twice, in the five years we've been here. But, it was the place to put the spare queen bed and the extra bedroom furniture and my teddy bear collection. (Yes, I have a teddy bear collection. I've had it for years and I refuse to give it up. I love them. Don't judge.) It has also become a little of a catch-all and the closet is actually storage for my massive amounts of Christmas decorations.
That second room was also to become a nursery should we have a baby while living in this house. (I say that because we originally intended to be here 3 to 5 years, so I wasn't sure if we'd get pregnant in that time. We'll be here a while longer.) It was even decorated as a beautiful little girl's nursery with light purple (my favorite color) walls and white furniture in the model home. I've always let my mind wander, fleetingly, how I would transform the room.
Until we started TTC.
From time to time, I let that room go and it becomes TOO much of a catch-all and bit messy. It was getting that way when we started trying. Now, 20 (or whatever) months later, it's actually gotten worse. In the beginning, I kept thinking I'd get myself in there for something to do. Not to get it ready to be a nursery, but just in case.
Eventually, it became the black hole. I kept thinking I didn't want to clean it because I didn't want to jinx it in some way. So stupid. Then, I just started avoiding it. At that point, I knew it should be a nursery, but it just wasn't happening. And I didn't want to open the door and be reminded of all the times I'd thought about nursery plans. The only time I go in now is to get wrapping paper and at Christmas to get my decorations.
Today, we are finally moving my home office area out of our master bedroom and into the first spare room. As I'm deciding how to design the room, I start thinking of other furniture to go in there. There are a few pieces in the would-be nursery that are getting no use (and wouldn't get use in a nursery) and would work in my office. The Hubby wants me to spend the weekend cleaning and organizing all the rooms (that sounds bad, but it's a mess I made and that I keep avoiding, so he's saying now would be a good time). I told him I still didn't want to do it and had no intention of cleaning out that room.
But, when I realized I wanted that furniture, I knew I had to clean that room to get it out and moved.
So, I'm doing the one thing I don't want to do. I feel like by doing it, I'm acting like I'm getting it ready to be a nursery. I know it's not. I know I need to not think like that, but it's in my head.
I hate that something so stupid as cleaning out a room in my own home that desperately needs to be cleaned turns into something IF/baby related to me.
Maybe by getting cleaned and looking pretty, I'll be able to move past that.
The second spare bedroom became the guest bedroom. Except people never spend the night at our house. I think people have slept in that bed once, maybe twice, in the five years we've been here. But, it was the place to put the spare queen bed and the extra bedroom furniture and my teddy bear collection. (Yes, I have a teddy bear collection. I've had it for years and I refuse to give it up. I love them. Don't judge.) It has also become a little of a catch-all and the closet is actually storage for my massive amounts of Christmas decorations.
That second room was also to become a nursery should we have a baby while living in this house. (I say that because we originally intended to be here 3 to 5 years, so I wasn't sure if we'd get pregnant in that time. We'll be here a while longer.) It was even decorated as a beautiful little girl's nursery with light purple (my favorite color) walls and white furniture in the model home. I've always let my mind wander, fleetingly, how I would transform the room.
Until we started TTC.
From time to time, I let that room go and it becomes TOO much of a catch-all and bit messy. It was getting that way when we started trying. Now, 20 (or whatever) months later, it's actually gotten worse. In the beginning, I kept thinking I'd get myself in there for something to do. Not to get it ready to be a nursery, but just in case.
Eventually, it became the black hole. I kept thinking I didn't want to clean it because I didn't want to jinx it in some way. So stupid. Then, I just started avoiding it. At that point, I knew it should be a nursery, but it just wasn't happening. And I didn't want to open the door and be reminded of all the times I'd thought about nursery plans. The only time I go in now is to get wrapping paper and at Christmas to get my decorations.
Today, we are finally moving my home office area out of our master bedroom and into the first spare room. As I'm deciding how to design the room, I start thinking of other furniture to go in there. There are a few pieces in the would-be nursery that are getting no use (and wouldn't get use in a nursery) and would work in my office. The Hubby wants me to spend the weekend cleaning and organizing all the rooms (that sounds bad, but it's a mess I made and that I keep avoiding, so he's saying now would be a good time). I told him I still didn't want to do it and had no intention of cleaning out that room.
But, when I realized I wanted that furniture, I knew I had to clean that room to get it out and moved.
So, I'm doing the one thing I don't want to do. I feel like by doing it, I'm acting like I'm getting it ready to be a nursery. I know it's not. I know I need to not think like that, but it's in my head.
I hate that something so stupid as cleaning out a room in my own home that desperately needs to be cleaned turns into something IF/baby related to me.
Maybe by getting cleaned and looking pretty, I'll be able to move past that.
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