Thursday, March 31, 2011

Out of The Hubby's Mouth: Welfare

All we need to do, baby, have no money or be on welfare and we'd get pregnant.

This is tacky and I know it. And it's not even accurate in regards to the majority of the pregnancies in our life. But, sometimes it feels that way.

The Hubby got a text today from his oldest friend in the world (they are exactly 9 months apart in age and grew up across the street from each other). He got married in October, rather quickly, and my selfish self waited to find out that his new wife pregnant. She was not. Now, she is. He already has a 6-year-old from a previous relationship.

I hate that my first reaction was to laugh and say "of course." It's mean and hateful and selfish, and I know it. But, it's just one more in a long line of everybody having babies before us. And even The Hubby feels it now too, which prompted the above comment.

I'm going to try very hard now to move past this. I'm, of course, happy for them. I don't know his wife very well, but R is a great guy and wonderful daddy to our beautiful goddaughter.

I cannot let it put a damper on my renewed spirit, which I was just thinking about on my drive home.

I really feel more in control and, once again, feel like this could happen. And The Hubby has been so onboard, telling people what we're going through and helping me plan the timing for his SA.

It's hard to remember that this is our struggle and our journey and it doesn't involve anybody else. It's not a race, it's not a contest, all these other babies are not our baby.

But sometimes you just have to laugh at the universe.

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