In less than a month, we will officially be moving on to the testing portion of TTC. No more denial, no more stalling. The initial appointment with the RE has been made.
I never thought it would be so hard to actually make that appointment. Once I had my ducks in a row--the list of REs on both The Hubby's and my insurance--and CD1hit, I started having panic attacks. Flat out, crying, scared to even look at the websites panic attacks. I just still had such anxiety about this being the right choice. Was I being stupid not finishing out initial testing with my doctor? Would an RE think I was crazy and tell me to come back when I knew what was going on with me? All of these were stupid thoughts. And I knew it. But it still took some reassurance from the lovely 3T ladies to pull me through.
By CD3, I sucked it up and put a call into my first choice, the one I thought was my only choice (only names I initially saw on both our insurance lists). The person who answered the phone said she would put me through to the scheduling coordinator and I'd probably have to leave a message because she was usually on the phone.
Something put me off about that. But, I was also looking at the website, which was telling me ot fill out information online and they would schedule the appointment. The scheduling coordinator's voicemail said they same. So, I went with it and answered all their questions, go confirmation emails. I also started noticing that the website only listed the two locations not closest to me, so I asked. I did get a response that they did still have the office close to me, but the main doctors were not in that office full time.
A little more off put.
As the day wore on and I continued looking at the website, I just kept feeling like something wasn't right. I kept feeling like this was not the place for me. Just a feeling, but I felt the experience was not going to be very personal.
I got to looking at our insurance lists again and noticed there was another match I had previously overlooked. It just so happened one of the lovely 3T ladies is using this other doctor and had great things to say.
Two days after I filled out the online information for Doctor #1, they office finally called to schedule my appointment. I was sitting in my cube and did not feel like discussing anything that might potentially be discussed where a lot of people could hear. I said I would call back, but I was already really considering Doctor #2.
My this past Monday, I had made my decision. Obviously, I needed to make the call. Doctor #2's website was leading me to believe I would get a much more personal experience, so I made the call.
The woman who answered the phone is the one who scheduled my appointment. I had booked a conference room at the office for 30 minutes not knowing how long I might be put on hold, etc. I was done in 5 minutes. I can't explain why, but that made all the difference to me.
So, it is done. I feel better now that the call is made. I'm sure I'll be nervous again when the day comes. The appointment is actually great timing--I should be anywhere from CD1 to CD3. And, no I hold no allusions that I will get pregnant this cycle and get to cancel the appointment. My life doesn't work that way and any thoughts like that went away long ago for me. But, we can start fresh with the new cycle.
Now, to start writing down my questions and concerns . . .
I never thought it would be so hard to actually make that appointment. Once I had my ducks in a row--the list of REs on both The Hubby's and my insurance--and CD1hit, I started having panic attacks. Flat out, crying, scared to even look at the websites panic attacks. I just still had such anxiety about this being the right choice. Was I being stupid not finishing out initial testing with my doctor? Would an RE think I was crazy and tell me to come back when I knew what was going on with me? All of these were stupid thoughts. And I knew it. But it still took some reassurance from the lovely 3T ladies to pull me through.
By CD3, I sucked it up and put a call into my first choice, the one I thought was my only choice (only names I initially saw on both our insurance lists). The person who answered the phone said she would put me through to the scheduling coordinator and I'd probably have to leave a message because she was usually on the phone.
Something put me off about that. But, I was also looking at the website, which was telling me ot fill out information online and they would schedule the appointment. The scheduling coordinator's voicemail said they same. So, I went with it and answered all their questions, go confirmation emails. I also started noticing that the website only listed the two locations not closest to me, so I asked. I did get a response that they did still have the office close to me, but the main doctors were not in that office full time.
A little more off put.
As the day wore on and I continued looking at the website, I just kept feeling like something wasn't right. I kept feeling like this was not the place for me. Just a feeling, but I felt the experience was not going to be very personal.
I got to looking at our insurance lists again and noticed there was another match I had previously overlooked. It just so happened one of the lovely 3T ladies is using this other doctor and had great things to say.
Two days after I filled out the online information for Doctor #1, they office finally called to schedule my appointment. I was sitting in my cube and did not feel like discussing anything that might potentially be discussed where a lot of people could hear. I said I would call back, but I was already really considering Doctor #2.
My this past Monday, I had made my decision. Obviously, I needed to make the call. Doctor #2's website was leading me to believe I would get a much more personal experience, so I made the call.
The woman who answered the phone is the one who scheduled my appointment. I had booked a conference room at the office for 30 minutes not knowing how long I might be put on hold, etc. I was done in 5 minutes. I can't explain why, but that made all the difference to me.
So, it is done. I feel better now that the call is made. I'm sure I'll be nervous again when the day comes. The appointment is actually great timing--I should be anywhere from CD1 to CD3. And, no I hold no allusions that I will get pregnant this cycle and get to cancel the appointment. My life doesn't work that way and any thoughts like that went away long ago for me. But, we can start fresh with the new cycle.
Now, to start writing down my questions and concerns . . .
1 comment:
best of luck to you! we're moving to testing too, and i'm disappointed, anxious and frustrated but hopeful that something good will come of it. here's to hoping!
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