The Hubby and I have definitely had more than one disagreement or stressful moment during this TTC process. It's a stressful time when you've been trying for awhile. Hormones get out of whack. It happens.
Usually, I end up apologizing because I will fully admit to my hormones getting the better of me. And sometimes it's not hormones. It's just pure frustration. And I admit that. And I will apologize for that.
I don't apologize for today.
As I've mentioned, I've looked up REs covered by my insurance and just needed The Hubby to do the same so I could cross-reference before choosing. I really should have had him do this a week or so ago, but things have been a bit stressful and crazy at work and that took up way too much of my brain power. So, this afternoon, I tell him that I need him to do that for me tomorrow when he's at work.
He asks why. His reasoning is that we don't know if this time "worked."
Absolutely correct, but I can't keep waiting for that or we'll never get anything done. So, I tell him that, no, we don't know, but we need to go ahead and get an appointment set up (I realize that I could set up an appointment without him, but I reall don't want to start somewhere and find that he's not covered). I also tell him I'm not really sure about this time because I'm fairly certain I O'd a day later than I expected (since I'm not charting, I obviously don't know this to be a fact, but knowing my body and the signs, I'm pretty sure). At this point, I was not annoyed with him. Just stating some facts.
Then he says it. "You need to stop stressing about it. Everybody tells me we should just relax and have fun with it."
All of my fellow TTC ladies can probably tell me right now where this story goes from here.
This is where I yelled.
I asked him if he had any clue at all. Does he not realize that we are way past that? That even if I was a little stressed or "trying too hard" all this time that a year and a half of unprotected, fairly well-timed sex that does not lead to a pregnancy damn near screams fertlity issues? Has he not paid attention to anything I have ever told him?
Now, this is not the first time he has made a similar statement. For the first six months or so, I let it go. I didn't like it, but I let it go. After about 9 cycles or so, I tried to do a bit more educating. Just letting trying to help him understand how it all works. Today, I was fed up.
I'm tired of waiting and sugar-coating all this for him and his ego. While I've put of further testing partially for myself and my own anxieties, I've also put it off for him.
The Hubby is the type who likes a status quo, a simple answer, few changes. He worries a little too much about rocking the boat and what's going to happen after the change. It's one of the reasons it took us seven years to get married and another year, despite our ages, to start TTC. I basically have to push the subject.
Because I know this about him and I understand, I've tried to be patient. I understand that he's worried to find out something is wrong with him. He generally has that feeling to begin with--he hates going to the doctor because he's always afraid of being told something bad. He worries about this, I know, because he thinks if something is wrong with him that is preventing us from having children that I'll blame him and not want him. Logically, he knows that isn't true, but it's a fear. And, again, it's a fear I can completely understand.
But, we have got to get past our fears and anxieties. It's time. We need to know.
While I don't like to yell and get my way in that manner, it did work. I left the room after yelling and when I came back he asked what he needs to do exactly.
I'd like to think he actually thought about what I said and understood.
But, it may just be because I yelled.
Either way, a step closer to testing!
Usually, I end up apologizing because I will fully admit to my hormones getting the better of me. And sometimes it's not hormones. It's just pure frustration. And I admit that. And I will apologize for that.
I don't apologize for today.
As I've mentioned, I've looked up REs covered by my insurance and just needed The Hubby to do the same so I could cross-reference before choosing. I really should have had him do this a week or so ago, but things have been a bit stressful and crazy at work and that took up way too much of my brain power. So, this afternoon, I tell him that I need him to do that for me tomorrow when he's at work.
He asks why. His reasoning is that we don't know if this time "worked."
Absolutely correct, but I can't keep waiting for that or we'll never get anything done. So, I tell him that, no, we don't know, but we need to go ahead and get an appointment set up (I realize that I could set up an appointment without him, but I reall don't want to start somewhere and find that he's not covered). I also tell him I'm not really sure about this time because I'm fairly certain I O'd a day later than I expected (since I'm not charting, I obviously don't know this to be a fact, but knowing my body and the signs, I'm pretty sure). At this point, I was not annoyed with him. Just stating some facts.
Then he says it. "You need to stop stressing about it. Everybody tells me we should just relax and have fun with it."
All of my fellow TTC ladies can probably tell me right now where this story goes from here.
This is where I yelled.
I asked him if he had any clue at all. Does he not realize that we are way past that? That even if I was a little stressed or "trying too hard" all this time that a year and a half of unprotected, fairly well-timed sex that does not lead to a pregnancy damn near screams fertlity issues? Has he not paid attention to anything I have ever told him?
Now, this is not the first time he has made a similar statement. For the first six months or so, I let it go. I didn't like it, but I let it go. After about 9 cycles or so, I tried to do a bit more educating. Just letting trying to help him understand how it all works. Today, I was fed up.
I'm tired of waiting and sugar-coating all this for him and his ego. While I've put of further testing partially for myself and my own anxieties, I've also put it off for him.
The Hubby is the type who likes a status quo, a simple answer, few changes. He worries a little too much about rocking the boat and what's going to happen after the change. It's one of the reasons it took us seven years to get married and another year, despite our ages, to start TTC. I basically have to push the subject.
Because I know this about him and I understand, I've tried to be patient. I understand that he's worried to find out something is wrong with him. He generally has that feeling to begin with--he hates going to the doctor because he's always afraid of being told something bad. He worries about this, I know, because he thinks if something is wrong with him that is preventing us from having children that I'll blame him and not want him. Logically, he knows that isn't true, but it's a fear. And, again, it's a fear I can completely understand.
But, we have got to get past our fears and anxieties. It's time. We need to know.
While I don't like to yell and get my way in that manner, it did work. I left the room after yelling and when I came back he asked what he needs to do exactly.
I'd like to think he actually thought about what I said and understood.
But, it may just be because I yelled.
Either way, a step closer to testing!
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