Out of The Hubby's Mouth: It'll Just Work Out

I should probably be documenting more of The Hubby throughout this pregnancy because it's been a trip. He's been rather adorable about all things baby, if not a little lacking in the "hey, my wife is actually pregnant" department. He's been so excited to do the nursery (he's done practically the entire thing himself), he loves to go baby shopping. With me, he's very into telling me what I should and shouldn't be eating, that I should be working out more. But, he does rub my feet rather frequently and has some big moments of trying to help - they could just stand to be a bit more frequent.

As we inch closer to the big day, I, of course, become a bit more anxious and frantic about planning. I've started a list for a hospital bag; really, I've just jotted down a few things I've seen here or there that I've though were good ideas and things I hadn't really thought about.

One of my biggest concerns, as I've mentioned before, has always been what to do about the four-legged babies when the time comes. I want a plan. I want to talk to people. I want to know, generally speaking, what is going to happen. I've been tabling the discussion for awhile, but I'm really ready to set this into motion.

So, I mention it to The Hubby.

His response, in a nutshell? "It'll all just work out. People do this all the time."

Ummmm.....

While this isn't an entirely untrue statement, there is a little more to it, dear. Most people do, in fact, have a plan, but we have a particularly sticky situation in that our munchkins are NOT used to being without both of us for any extended period of time (it's actually never happened), they are not used to being around a lot of other people, and we have spoiled them royally.

To back up his statement, he has given me a basic scenario of "you'll go into labor, we'll feed them and take them out if it's the right time, and we'll go the hospital; if we have to stay, we'll just see what happens; I can run home and take them out again depending on how long . . . " You can see where this is heading

Ummmm......

So, we're going to leave our wife in labor to run home and take care of the dogs? Sure, that's a good plan. Yes, we only live about 20 minutes from the hospital, but under what circumstances does he think it's okay to leave me? And while "take out and feed the dogs" seems like a quick little errand, it wouldn't be. He spends at least 5 minutes greeting them every day and about that long trying to leave them (I'm not joking; he's so bad leaving them that I have already said he will never be the one to do drop off at whatever child care option we end up with). So, we'd be looking at at least an hour.

And, really, you would be okay with leaving the children locked up in their crate for an unknown, likely long, amount of time when this is absolutely not the norm for them BEFORE we bring a new, tiny, screaming person into their home.

Yeah, good plan.

At this point, I'm considering drawing up some scenarios for him about exactly how labor/delivery might go. Because even though I know we will work through the dog-taking-care-of issue, this has shown me that I don't think he has a real sense of what exactly it's going to be like.

So, thinking I might give hims some scenarios for an induced birth, a short labor, a long labor, an unplanned C-section. I think he just needs to understand that it's not like on TV where "oh, honey, I'm having contractions/my water just broke, let's go the hospital" and magically a few hours later, you have a baby.

I know he's prepared himself for the actual delivery portion of the event, but I don't think he realizes everything else that happens between "go time" and main event.

If anybody has any good stories they'd like to share or point me to, feel free. I have a couple already, including my mother's long labor with me (and her MUCH shorter ones with my brothers).

Puppy Love

I've gotten asked a few times if I'm worried/scared about labor. I've discussed the subject with a few people. I really think the general consensus that I'm in denial or that the anxiety will come later. And this is all the subject of a future post.

The truth is I have one major anxiety about going into labor/being in labor.

And it has nothing to do with hospitals or pain or the unknown or the baby.

It has everything to do with my other babies - yep, the dogs.

I have had a number of full-blown anxiety attacks about leaving my sweet babies for any number of days, especially with the unknown of how exactly it will happen (will I end up being induced, so a little more "planned," or will I just go into labor and we have to make sure they are covered), when it will happen, etc. Add that to the worry I have about them adjusting to the baby in the first place. And we just don't trust most people with our babies - we've never both been away from them in almost 8 years.

We have a friend who will be able to come stay with them and they know and love him very much. They are even good for him - he had to come over late the night The Hubby was admitted to the hospital two years ago and I wouldn't leave until he was in a room. But, he's not Mommy and Daddy.

Yeah, there you have it, we are THOSE pet people. They are not our pets, they are our babies. Our little girl, The Hubby will tell you, saved his life after our other little girl died and he needed another companion. Our little boy was an unexpected surprise in our lives and he is our little shadow; can't be without one of us at all times. They were my saving grace through IF. I was at least their mommy. And they could always make me smile and always knew when I needed love.

Now, I know that everybody will say this will change as soon as the baby gets here. Trust me, I've heard it. And I'm also not naive enough to believe that things will not be different. But, I can assure you that my two 4-legged babies will continue to be my babies too and that we will do everything in our power to make this transition smooth for them. We made a committment to them and we are changing the game. So, it is our job to help them just as much as to help Baby Boy.

I've, of course, been reading up on all the tips for transitioning furbabies. I've actually read them for years. A lot of them are really good things to do, things to know. The Hubby will bring something of Baby Boy's home from the hospital for them to get the scent. When we come home from the hospital, I will come in first to greet them (can I tell you how much I tear up thinking about this - they get so upset when I'm not home) then bring in Baby Boy. We've started here and there with phone apps of crying/fussy babies. They handle that okay.

Now, I also hear people say to do things like block off the baby's room, keep baby's stuff away from them, transition them to another sleeping place if they sleep in your bed, start paying them less attention so they get used to it.

Um, yeah, these are not things that will be happening in our family.

From the day we started setting up the nursery, I have pretty much allowed them to roam in and out freely. Same when it came to the first round of baby stuff. When I started taking the stuff out of bags from our first shower, I did it on the floor with them wandering in and out. They walked by, sniffed, didn't try to take anything (with the exception of a toy ball, but like I can really blame them there). I will not keep them from being around the baby and his things. Why would I? Yes, they shed. But, this is their home too, they are not horrible shedders, and their hair is all over this dang house anyway, no matter how well I clean! I want them to know that they belong with all of us.

I will also not be kicking them out of our bed. Again, I don't quite understand this one. I will not be co-sleeping (again, not so naive to believe that my child will never share my bed, but not when he is very little); baby will only be in the bed while I am nursing. And I know my munchkins. Little Girl will sleep right through it all (maybe adjust her spot in bed) and Little Boy will come see what's happening then lie down by us. For us, in particular, it is very important that our doggies maintain this habit. We have daschunds and they are very habit oriented. We were told right from the beginning that however we chose to have them sleep, we needed to not ever change it. And we won't.

The last thing you could not pay me to do is to ignore them or give them less attention. For one, they wouldn't let it happen. For another, I believe it is a silly thing that could only harm the transition more, especially for my sensitive little ones. We do not spend 100% of our time giving them attention and they do just fine when they are not the center of attention. I believe the transition will come pretty naturally, though I certainly expect bumps.

So, if I can just get past the whole being away from them for a couple of days, I'll be good. We still haven't fully decided how we are going to handle taking care of them while we are at the hospital. I've given The Hubby the option of saying with us and having our friend stay at the house or for him to come home at night to be with them. I believe he is leaning toward the latter. But, we'll see. I believe friend will be on stand-by (thank goodness he only lives 5 minutes away!).

Didn't know I was already some crazy puppy mommy, did you?

The Lazy Blogger: 26 Week Bumpdate!

Eek! I really did not realize how long it had been!

No pictures or official update. I'm not making any promises to get back to that, but I will try!

First things first, anatomy scan on on 7/5 went great. Peanut looks absolutely perfect and was swimming around like a little fish. I will admit to having some pretty major anxiety leading up to the appointment. I'd thought I'd felt flutter here and there, but was not sure. And then I'd read that I should be feeling flutters and that others were feeling flutters. I had a major meltdown two nights before the appointment and then 30 minutes later, I started feeling some flutters.

Obviously, I'm going to make you wait for the big news!

So, from pretty much day 1, The Hubby was convinced Peanut was girl. No doubt in his mind, he was sure. I didn't really have any thoughts one way or the other until I had two very vivid dreams - at about 10 weeks and again about 14 weeks - of the baby and he was a he. And, really, I think I just felt boy all along. We did try the ring on the string test (just to shut up The Hubby), but it was decidedly inconlusive, and even the Chinese gender charts said different things depending on whether I went by LMP/EDD or conception/ovulation date.

So, as my doctor said, we were going for the tie breaker.

By the time we actually got to the appointment, I could not have cared less about the sex. I was so anxious to see the Peanut and make sure he/she was okay and healthy that the sex truly was secondary.

I'm not even sure what my real reaction was when the tech said "and you have a son."

The Hubby was in complete shock. He was so convinced, he kept saying all day how shocked he was by the news, but he was SO excited. There is really no doubt in the picture that he is a he. The Hubby was so proud that he wanted to text the picture to everybody. I had to talk him down from posting it on Facebook. I mean, really.

I think a lot of people expected me to be disappointed. Having four brothers, three of whom are younger, people naturally assumed I'd want a little girl. And while that may have been a little true at some point and I would still love to have a daughter, I could not be more thrilled with a son. I'm not honestly sure I would have known what to do if they'd told me I was having a girl.

The real fun began then.

We registered that day and actually got to pick up the crib, which was completely unexpected (we'd been told two days earlier that they didn't have any in stock and we'd have to order it).

The Hubby could not stand to wait another minute to name Baby Boy, but we still had not quite settled on the name. We'd tabled the boy name discussion until we found out the sex. By the next day, Baby Boy had a name. And I love it and it's perfect.

Since then, I've finally gotten the spare bedroom cleaned out, it officially became "the baby's room." The Hubby painted and put together the crib. We got up a border and some decals.

He will have a sports themed room. We considered other options briefly, but for us, it just had to be sports. It's more of a vintage sports and we'll be using a lot of decorations dealing with our favorite teams. I'm so excited to get some of my projects done.

A couple of weeks ago, our friends threw us a surprise baby shower. Completely unexpected and so much fun. So, we've got some stuff now! That has caused all kinds of anxiety about figuring out where to put everything now. We did buy the dresser/changer this weekend, so that will help some!

What else?

I've started and almost completed "Operation Get This House Ready for Baby." I took a week off from work to completely reorganize and clean out my house. It's almost done. Then, garage sale, then we'll be ready to finish out Peanut's room.

As far as me, I've been feeling really good. Second trimester has been pretty smooth, thankfully. I can tell I'm creeping up on 3rd trimester, though. Getting tire more easily, more aches and pains. I'm still okay on weigh gain. I think I will go a bit over the 30 pounds recommended, but I don't think by much. Not doing nearly as much exercise as I'd like since we quit the gym. But, it's been too hot to go out and walk at any time of day or night (plus, we have a severe threat of West Nile Virus in our area, so I really can't be out much early or late when it would be cool enough). But, still no crazy eating, so I'm okay with it all. Back and hip pain was better, but now it's starting to hurt again. More trouble sleeping in the last week or so, which I know will only get worse!

I'm so shocked by how fast pregnancy seems to be going. It was so slow in the beginning and it felt like I had forever until November. Now, it seems just around the corner. That causes a moment of panic every now and then, but mostly, I just can't wait. Pregnancy was always a means to an end. I'm really pretty blase about pregnancy, I think. I don't love or hate it. (Okay, I sort of love it right now because he's really started moving so much and it's so much fun to have those moments where it's just him and me.) I'm ready to be done, but just because I want my baby in my arms.

Sorry this blog was so all over the place. I just wanted to catch some highlights. Again, no promises, but I really will try very hard to be a better blogger!