I've gotten asked a few times if I'm worried/scared about labor. I've discussed the subject with a few people. I really think the general consensus that I'm in denial or that the anxiety will come later. And this is all the subject of a future post.
The truth is I have one major anxiety about going into labor/being in labor.
And it has nothing to do with hospitals or pain or the unknown or the baby.
It has everything to do with my other babies - yep, the dogs.
I have had a number of full-blown anxiety attacks about leaving my sweet babies for any number of days, especially with the unknown of how exactly it will happen (will I end up being induced, so a little more "planned," or will I just go into labor and we have to make sure they are covered), when it will happen, etc. Add that to the worry I have about them adjusting to the baby in the first place. And we just don't trust most people with our babies - we've never both been away from them in almost 8 years.
We have a friend who will be able to come stay with them and they know and love him very much. They are even good for him - he had to come over late the night The Hubby was admitted to the hospital two years ago and I wouldn't leave until he was in a room. But, he's not Mommy and Daddy.
Yeah, there you have it, we are THOSE pet people. They are not our pets, they are our babies. Our little girl, The Hubby will tell you, saved his life after our other little girl died and he needed another companion. Our little boy was an unexpected surprise in our lives and he is our little shadow; can't be without one of us at all times. They were my saving grace through IF. I was at least their mommy. And they could always make me smile and always knew when I needed love.
Now, I know that everybody will say this will change as soon as the baby gets here. Trust me, I've heard it. And I'm also not naive enough to believe that things will not be different. But, I can assure you that my two 4-legged babies will continue to be my babies too and that we will do everything in our power to make this transition smooth for them. We made a committment to them and we are changing the game. So, it is our job to help them just as much as to help Baby Boy.
I've, of course, been reading up on all the tips for transitioning furbabies. I've actually read them for years. A lot of them are really good things to do, things to know. The Hubby will bring something of Baby Boy's home from the hospital for them to get the scent. When we come home from the hospital, I will come in first to greet them (can I tell you how much I tear up thinking about this - they get so upset when I'm not home) then bring in Baby Boy. We've started here and there with phone apps of crying/fussy babies. They handle that okay.
Now, I also hear people say to do things like block off the baby's room, keep baby's stuff away from them, transition them to another sleeping place if they sleep in your bed, start paying them less attention so they get used to it.
Um, yeah, these are not things that will be happening in our family.
From the day we started setting up the nursery, I have pretty much allowed them to roam in and out freely. Same when it came to the first round of baby stuff. When I started taking the stuff out of bags from our first shower, I did it on the floor with them wandering in and out. They walked by, sniffed, didn't try to take anything (with the exception of a toy ball, but like I can really blame them there). I will not keep them from being around the baby and his things. Why would I? Yes, they shed. But, this is their home too, they are not horrible shedders, and their hair is all over this dang house anyway, no matter how well I clean! I want them to know that they belong with all of us.
I will also not be kicking them out of our bed. Again, I don't quite understand this one. I will not be co-sleeping (again, not so naive to believe that my child will never share my bed, but not when he is very little); baby will only be in the bed while I am nursing. And I know my munchkins. Little Girl will sleep right through it all (maybe adjust her spot in bed) and Little Boy will come see what's happening then lie down by us. For us, in particular, it is very important that our doggies maintain this habit. We have daschunds and they are very habit oriented. We were told right from the beginning that however we chose to have them sleep, we needed to not ever change it. And we won't.
The last thing you could not pay me to do is to ignore them or give them less attention. For one, they wouldn't let it happen. For another, I believe it is a silly thing that could only harm the transition more, especially for my sensitive little ones. We do not spend 100% of our time giving them attention and they do just fine when they are not the center of attention. I believe the transition will come pretty naturally, though I certainly expect bumps.
So, if I can just get past the whole being away from them for a couple of days, I'll be good. We still haven't fully decided how we are going to handle taking care of them while we are at the hospital. I've given The Hubby the option of saying with us and having our friend stay at the house or for him to come home at night to be with them. I believe he is leaning toward the latter. But, we'll see. I believe friend will be on stand-by (thank goodness he only lives 5 minutes away!).
Didn't know I was already some crazy puppy mommy, did you?
The truth is I have one major anxiety about going into labor/being in labor.
And it has nothing to do with hospitals or pain or the unknown or the baby.
It has everything to do with my other babies - yep, the dogs.
I have had a number of full-blown anxiety attacks about leaving my sweet babies for any number of days, especially with the unknown of how exactly it will happen (will I end up being induced, so a little more "planned," or will I just go into labor and we have to make sure they are covered), when it will happen, etc. Add that to the worry I have about them adjusting to the baby in the first place. And we just don't trust most people with our babies - we've never both been away from them in almost 8 years.
We have a friend who will be able to come stay with them and they know and love him very much. They are even good for him - he had to come over late the night The Hubby was admitted to the hospital two years ago and I wouldn't leave until he was in a room. But, he's not Mommy and Daddy.
Yeah, there you have it, we are THOSE pet people. They are not our pets, they are our babies. Our little girl, The Hubby will tell you, saved his life after our other little girl died and he needed another companion. Our little boy was an unexpected surprise in our lives and he is our little shadow; can't be without one of us at all times. They were my saving grace through IF. I was at least their mommy. And they could always make me smile and always knew when I needed love.
Now, I know that everybody will say this will change as soon as the baby gets here. Trust me, I've heard it. And I'm also not naive enough to believe that things will not be different. But, I can assure you that my two 4-legged babies will continue to be my babies too and that we will do everything in our power to make this transition smooth for them. We made a committment to them and we are changing the game. So, it is our job to help them just as much as to help Baby Boy.
I've, of course, been reading up on all the tips for transitioning furbabies. I've actually read them for years. A lot of them are really good things to do, things to know. The Hubby will bring something of Baby Boy's home from the hospital for them to get the scent. When we come home from the hospital, I will come in first to greet them (can I tell you how much I tear up thinking about this - they get so upset when I'm not home) then bring in Baby Boy. We've started here and there with phone apps of crying/fussy babies. They handle that okay.
Now, I also hear people say to do things like block off the baby's room, keep baby's stuff away from them, transition them to another sleeping place if they sleep in your bed, start paying them less attention so they get used to it.
Um, yeah, these are not things that will be happening in our family.
From the day we started setting up the nursery, I have pretty much allowed them to roam in and out freely. Same when it came to the first round of baby stuff. When I started taking the stuff out of bags from our first shower, I did it on the floor with them wandering in and out. They walked by, sniffed, didn't try to take anything (with the exception of a toy ball, but like I can really blame them there). I will not keep them from being around the baby and his things. Why would I? Yes, they shed. But, this is their home too, they are not horrible shedders, and their hair is all over this dang house anyway, no matter how well I clean! I want them to know that they belong with all of us.
I will also not be kicking them out of our bed. Again, I don't quite understand this one. I will not be co-sleeping (again, not so naive to believe that my child will never share my bed, but not when he is very little); baby will only be in the bed while I am nursing. And I know my munchkins. Little Girl will sleep right through it all (maybe adjust her spot in bed) and Little Boy will come see what's happening then lie down by us. For us, in particular, it is very important that our doggies maintain this habit. We have daschunds and they are very habit oriented. We were told right from the beginning that however we chose to have them sleep, we needed to not ever change it. And we won't.
The last thing you could not pay me to do is to ignore them or give them less attention. For one, they wouldn't let it happen. For another, I believe it is a silly thing that could only harm the transition more, especially for my sensitive little ones. We do not spend 100% of our time giving them attention and they do just fine when they are not the center of attention. I believe the transition will come pretty naturally, though I certainly expect bumps.
So, if I can just get past the whole being away from them for a couple of days, I'll be good. We still haven't fully decided how we are going to handle taking care of them while we are at the hospital. I've given The Hubby the option of saying with us and having our friend stay at the house or for him to come home at night to be with them. I believe he is leaning toward the latter. But, we'll see. I believe friend will be on stand-by (thank goodness he only lives 5 minutes away!).
Didn't know I was already some crazy puppy mommy, did you?
1 comment:
I understand how you feel! We never did any of those things before Gabriel came home either. I think the whole "Give them less attention" thing is stupid, anyway. My dogs are always my 'first kids', and like you said, things change, but you'll still love your dogs.
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