Here Comes the Scary Part of the Ride

In keeping with the roller coaster metaphor, you know that part of the ride with all the twists and turns, ups and downs, curly-Qs, etc.? It last maybe 30 seconds to a minute in the middle of the ride. You go and go and go, catching your breath for brief seconds in between the fun stuff.

When TTC, that part is known as the two week wait. And this is where that slow motion part comes in. I think by naming it the two week wait, you get what I mean.

From the second you find out you've ovulated--we need a break here to give some basics. I chart, which means every morning I wake up a 4:00am, stick a basal body thermometer in my mouth, and record my resting body temperature. Once plugged into a chart, a shift can be seen in my temps indicating that I did ovulate. There is more to it, but some of it is graphic, so that's all we'll go into. If anybody actually reads this and wants to see my chart, it is linked on the bottom of the page.

So, here we go. From the second you find out you've ovulated, usually about 3 days post, every minute, hour, day, week goes by soooo sloooowwww. Yet, it's filled with all kinds of crazy emotions.

How was our timing? Should I even have hope? There is just no way it's happening this cycle! Its totally this cycle! Why a I crying over a sports story (true story; happened this morning)? What is that twinge in my abdomen? I don't feel anything different, what does that mean? OUCH--my boobs hurt.

All of these things go on in this two week spann. Often in the same 5-minute span. Usually more than once a day.

Today I offically start my two week wait in this my 13th cycle of trying. I have been bitterly disappointed 12 times in the last year. Right now, my state of mind is that I will be bitterly disappointed for a 13th time. But, check with me tomorrow--hell, check with me in an hour--and I'm sure I'll feel differently.