No "Babies Everywhere"

Ask anyone who has ever TTC--for one month or 12--and they will tell you they see babies everywhere. The store, on TV, in your own family, on Facebook. And if it is not babies, it's a baby bump--that's right, the pregnant woman. The woman you long to be. Or a mommy. Again, the woman you long to be. Heck, even the hubby has taken to noticing babies everywhere and pointing them out to me.

Sometimes, it's hell. Sometimes, it's almost amusing. Is the universe messing with you?

Well, no, it's not. It's life. There have always been pregnant women everywhere. But, it's like when you buy a new car. You never saw that car on the road before, but now that you have one, they're everywhere.

Seeing babies or pregnant women doesn't upset me. It doesn't make me angry. It makes me wistful. It makes me frustrated that I'm not there.

But, no matter it makes me feel, it sucks because it is a feeling I don't want to have. I would give nothing more than to go through the day without that constant want for a child. Without being reminded every second of every day of the one thing I don't have. That would be a good day.

I actually had that today and it was amazing.

The hubby and I played hooky from work and went to the State Fair of Texas. Honestly, I was a little concerned that all the above mentioned "feelings" would be present. Especially given that I am days away from either being pregnant or not--again. And since I'm leaning toward the not, I was prepared to be pissy.

But, I totally wasn't.

Since it is way on the other side of the Metroplex from where we live, which means lots of traffic that would only cause us to get angry, we took the train and then the tram to the fair. On the ride there, a family got on with a cutie pie little boy in a stroller. Honestly, I only barely noticed until the hubby pointed him out.

And there were kids and babies and strollers and stuff for kids all over the fair. I barely saw any of it.

Babies were not everywhere today.

Maybe it was just being "away" from my everyday life. Or just being with the hubby and having fun. But, I realized when I got home that aside from some cramping and the fact that my boobs are killing me, I didn't think about babies, or being pregnant, or trying to conceive, or any of it all day.

It was a good day.