Which Came First . . .

The BFN or the irritability?

I broke a rule. My rule, but a rule nonetheless.

Not temping has made me a bit crazy, I think. Seeing my temps fall helps me not feel the need to test. Not knowing made me anxious.

I tested this morning--14DPO. Not even an evap. line to pretend a positive.

And now I'm a bit pissy, but is that because of the result or is it PMS and just in general pissy-ness about the whole thing.

Really, I tested to calm my nerves. And it has. I'm disappointed because a BFN is never easy to see. But, there is still a slim chance and, basically, I can say as of right this second I'm not. So, now I can stop wondering and can just wait.

I'm trying to look on the bright side in that if I'm not, it means more time of good workouts at they gym. We did join a gym last week, but I've been trying to take it a little easy this week until I know for sure. I want to workout during pregnancy, but since I haven't been working out consistently for awhile, I need to make sure I don't overdo it--because, believe me, I have a tendency to overdo it in that area. So, if I'm not pregnant, I'm just trying to look it at is more time to lose some weight and get my endurance built back up.

I'm a little annoyed about testing "early" but given that it is 14DPO and 14 is my longest LP, I only feel like I'm breaking my rule a little. And a lot of women don't test positive until after they are actually late. And I'm still not feeling any real PMS symptoms, but I've been burned by that before.

So, really, now I will do nothing until Friday. Seriously.

I'll admit to having my hopes dashed a bit and my optimism has shrunk a bit, but it ain't over 'till "the bitch" shows her face.

And I'm stopping here before I put any negative energy out there!