No Right to Complain

I have a ridiculously flexible job in terms of time off, start/leave time, flexiblity.

When the baby comes, I will be able to work from home two days a week for awhile. I have to ability to work at home if the baby is sick, so I don't have to use up my sick time or PTO if I don't want to. I can make up time in the evenings or weekend if I need to be out, come in late, or leave early.

I have a pretty decent amount of paid time off each year.  Twenty PTO days, 7 sick days, 2 to 3 floating holidays (depending on the year), plus some "off the record" bonus days provided by my department as a reward (up to 4 a year). That's a LOT of time.

I also have a pretty great parental leave policy - compared to many US work environments, not compared to the rest of the world. I get 8 weeks FULL PAID parental leave. And, since I work for a very large corporation, I fall under FMLA, which means I can take 12 full weeks off with the baby, the last four weeks are up to me to cover in terms of time off/pay.

For all these reasons, I have no right to complain. Not even a little bit.

But, sometimes, the corporate world lacks certain insight into flexiblity.

Not my direct management, mind you. They are great. And, no, they would not in any way, shape, or form read this. That is just the honest truth.

See, my due date presents something of a condundrum to me with all that above mentioned paid time off.

For as long as I have worked at this company - 11 years - I have set aside usually around 8 or 9 days (depending on how many company holiday days we get) to take off at the end of year, so for Christmas break, you could say. This is not an uncommon practice in my department as we have little to no production work going at that time and we've just come off our busiest time, during which we are not allowed to take more than two days in a row for about a three-month period. In addition to those days at the end of the year, I also take off the week of Thanksgiving, racking up three more of those days. All other time is either taken here and there when I want a day off, I try to take a week in the summer (really, to use up my time more than anything else), and sick time. Any "leftover" time (which I do usually have), I usually take in the form of long weekends throughout December.

I plan my time off very carefully. I am not one who likes to take off when we are in the middle of things. I don't take random vacations. My time is usually scheduled for when there is the least amount of work going on and the time where there is the least chance of me being needed. (Now, this is a completely unnecessary practice on my part. Despite the fact that I am now in a "supervisor" role, my team is perfectly capable of handling workload and crisis without me. It's just how I am.)

So, back to my due date, November 18. That would be the Sunday before Thanksgiving. My parental leave must start the day the baby is born (for the record, I am very well aware that baby could come earlier or later than that day; using that date as a point of reference because early or late, the same "issues" apply). So, if the baby comes on time or early, I have AT LEAST 12 paid days off that I would no longer be using in their regularly schedule places. And, usually, it would be closer to 15 days.

Okay, that's easy enough, right? Just take off time prior to that? Well, that's not so easy either. The "ideal" time for  me to take off to prepare for baby comes during our busiest time of year, a time when our department policy is to not take more than two days off in a row from Aug. through Thanksgiving. And despite my bosses telling me to not worry about it (more on that in a minute), I do. It's just in my nature to do that. I also don't feel right taking off extra time at that point when I have extended time off coming up.

Well, can't I just use some PTO before parental leave starts? Nope. Our parental leave is separate from our STD and actually MUST start the day of baby's birth (or the first weekday after).

This leads us to part two of the issue. My eight weeks of parental leave will end in 2013. I want to take 12 weeks, as "covered" by FMLA. My last four weeks have to be figure out by me using PTO, sick time, or unpaid time. Remember how I was talking about all that time I have every year? Well, it seems that way unless you basically want to use all that time in one fell swoop - in February.

But, wait, I don't WANT to use all my 2012, so why don't I just carry that over to 2013? Yeah, my company doesn't allow that. Well, that's not entirely true. Yes, our policy is use it or lose it, no carryover. BUT, in our corporate policy, it is stated that with special permission from your manager (or management team), you can carry over up to 5 days. Well, hey, that's something right? You would think.

You would think that after 11 years of loyalty to a company that I could have left many years ago, after being a pretty exemplory employee - someone who has never had a bad review, who has been promoted to the highest level possible (right now) in the department, that I might be awarded said "special permission."

You would be wrong.

My immediate management team would give me those 5 days without a second thought. Unfortunately, the decision has to go a bit higher. To bosses in another city who don't know me from Eve. Now, I respect these bosses a great deal. They've done a LOT for our department. But, my boss has already informed that that while he will ask, he has never known the permission to be granted.

So, where does that leave me? That leaves me either wiping out my PTO to stay home with the baby for the full 12 weeks or  me using two weeks of 2013 PTO (which I am perfectly willing to do) then taking two weeks unpaid.

The latter option is not even up for discussion. This is not something we can afford for me to do. This is not something we can really even save up for me to do. We are not in a bad financial position, but we are very middle America in that we basically live paycheck-to-paycheck, though we have in the last year put ourselves into the position to save more money. BUT, we are now needing much of that saved money to pay for baby.

The former option is not appealing in that I would have virtually no time left for the rest of the year - a total of 14 days. Yeah, I could deal with not having my usual end of the year time off for one year, but do I really want that to be my child's first real Thanksgiving and Christmas? (Let's face it, this year won't really count!) Not really.

So, that leaves me with "only" taking 10 weeks off with baby.

This is where we get into the "no right to complain" territory.

I would get to take 10 whole weeks off with my newborn. Paid. In full. With the blessing of my bosses and co-workers. That is more than I'd say MOST women in this country are afforded. And after that, I will get to work from home twice a week with the baby at home with me while he/she is still very young and (hopefully) sleeping a lot.

I also have a husband who will be just as willing as I am to take time off with baby when needed, but his schedule is MUCH less flexible than mine.

I also have a mother who has a TON of time saved up (hers rolls over - lucky!) and is MORE than willing to help me take care of the baby whenever I need.

But, the point is I want to stay home for 12 weeks with my child.

And I have given a lot to this company over the years and am actually offering to do something that would be mutually beneficial to myself and the company.

But, corporate policy wins in the end.

I wrote this like I expected somebody to actually read the ramblings of a crazy, hormonal pregnant woman.

I didn't. I wrote it because I am crazy, hormonal, and pregnant.

Truth is I always knew this is how it would play out in the end. I know our corporate policy. I know what my family can manage.

This is how it was always going to be. But, I thought for a brief time that I would actually catch a break in this.

I'm not asking for sympathy because I do know that I am very lucky in what I do have.

But, it still sucks - for me.