Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Just Getting It Out There

I need these thoughts out of my head.

Body, can you please quit screwing with my mind.

Mind, can you please stop reading into things.

For the love of God, I want to be a sane person again.

CD28. That's all I've got. No charting for me, so best I can go off of is CM. I O'd anywhere from CD13 to CD16; I'm guessing CD15. That would put me at 13DPO.

But, I can't go by that.

All I can really go by is that my longest cycle - with a "later" O - was 31 days. So, I'm still three/four days out from thinking anything.

Of course, two "short" cycles in a row have messed with  my mind a little. CD28 is "late" after 25- and 26-day cycles.

But, that means nothing.

No cramping. Semi-sort boobs, but really just the nipples and that could easily be from any friction with my more intense workouts.

What appeared to be a little blood with an internal check last night. Nothing more.

Am I craving carbs? Who can tell? I've been on a diet/eating healthier since the first of the year, so craving something like mac 'n' cheese would not be so crazy. But, I certainly haven't been in a HAVE TO HAVE IT mood, but that could also be because I am really committed to losing weight.

Am I PMS'ing? Who the hell knows? I'm so hormonal ALL the time that I can't really tell the difference anymore. Usually, I do have some sort of unreasonable meltdown. I may have had that last week, but it also  may have been perfectly justifiable.

Bottom line is I have no freaking idea what the hell is going and it's not really driving me crazy. I'm not thinking about it ALL the time or obssessing.

But, it does drive me a little bit crazy because I'm just so tired of this game.

So, now that it is out there in the universe, I have no doubt that I will start within the next 24 hours.

That's how this little game works.

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