The Missing Stocking

I'm decorating the house for Christmas today.

It's one of my very favorite things to do in the world. I love Christmas. I love the music, the lights, the weather, smells, the colors. You name it I ove it.

This year, I feel like I'm putting a little more into it. I'm making lists of things I need to "fill in" the gaps in my decoration and have every intention of actually making the purchases.

The Hubby even seems into it more than usual. He was practically giddy on the way home from Thanksgiving dinner know that the next day was decoration day (which got delayed 2 days due to my illness). He happily helped move furniture to make room for the tree, brought the tree in from garage without a grumble, and hasn't rolled one eye at my Christmas bear collection.

It has been a very good day in our house.

Until I hung the stockings.

Still only 5--one for each of us, one for each of the furbabies, and one for our angel furbaby.

But not one for a baby.

Decorating last year, I wondered how I would rearrange things to make room for a 6th stocking this year. It never occurred to me that I would be approaching this next Christmas still TTC and still without the need for a new stocking. I really thought I would have an infant or, at the very least, be pregnant this Christmas.

It hit me hard. But, I did manage to hold back the tears. I didn't want to ruin the mood and I didn't want to upset the hubby. He's got so much hope right now that this cycle is it. I keep getting caught up in that even though my practical side is trying to fight it. It's so early and I've been disappointed so many times.

Maybe by Christmas, we'll have reason to go buy a new stocking. I probably wouldn't, but the thought that it is still a possiblity gives me hope.